Twentysomething

In a few weeks, things are going to change yet again for me. When this has happened in the past, it has always been because of a move, or a change of school, or both. At those times, I could count on frequently being around certain people: classmates, family, and in university, flatmates. I was either at home with people or at school with people. Especially at university, you’re very likely to get along with your classmates or your flatmates (though you could be unlucky), since you have something in common and are around each other so frequently. Being young contributes to that as well, as you are in an unfamiliar place and are still figuring your life out, and so is everyone around you.

You don’t realize how important this is when you’re at university. How protected and supported you are. You ride the wave of new ideas, people, and places and let it shape you. Then you graduate, hoping for the best of all those worlds, as you now know what you want (hopefully). But this needs so much more perseverance and patience than you first think.

This transition is far different from anything I’ve been through. It’s not quite as scary as it was first coming to Scotland, as I have friends here now. But they all have different lives from me since I’ve graduated, and we have to make an effort to see each other. The difficult thing is that I can’t seem to count on anything. People I work with aren’t at the same stage of life as me. It’s a different dynamic–you don’t seem to become as close as you were to university friends. I’ve also gained a liking to living without flatmates. All of this adds up to needing to depend on myself so much more than I ever have before. And with a new job on the horizon it means starting all over again meeting new people.

I’m doing my best to remember it will get better with time. Many times in the past, I’ve picked myself up and moved on to a new life. But things now seem the most uncertain that they’ve ever been, and I feel more on my own than ever. It’s part of life, I know.

Perhaps this just means things will be that much better when I find my way. To quote The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, “Everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, then it’s not the end.”